Renegade Hash House Harriers Columbus

The 32nd edition of the Renegade Hash House Harriers Columbus, hared by Dangerous Dismount and Battery Operated Boyfriend, began on a beautiful warm winter day out in the countryside of Johnstown. The locals were blessed with hashers from nearby Dayton H3: Jimmy Buffet and the Shit Stained Penis, Deep Swallows, Fido, Beamer (Bitch Moan Whine), and Goes Down on the Tip.

The trail started out with extremely soggy ground and lots and lots of mud. At the first BN we were graced with excellent stories on how our visitors earned their names. Shrimp was part of the story; but that’s all we will say. After all the beer was gone, we were off to the next BN.

The trail took us to our next BN stop which happened to be a horse farm, where the only swallows in the barn was Deep Swallows, who got to pet his first horse. The barn had many horses to keep us occupied while we were drinking the cold beverages. The boys decided to leave their mark in the horse stall. Some had never been in a horse barn, let alone had the opportunity to urinate in a stall (since every guy is hung like a horse, right??) They can now scratch that off their bucket list!!

To get to the SN stop, we crossed a muddy corn field, a small creek and headed deep into the woods. We passed a deer stand, to which two members apparently had “climb a deer stand in the middle of the woods”, on their bucket list. That is now scratched off the list, along with a full “moon” trail, to put it nicely.

The SN stop had a bottle of Fire Ball, in a camouflage flask; so fitting for our environment. The Fire Ball didn’t stand a chance with this group!! We also got to see a “show” with a squirrel and his nuts. Quite entertaining!!

We took off again looking for our 3rd BN stop. After running back thru the woods, B.O.B. was waiting for us with sleds and more beers. Even though there was no more snow left on the ground, the hill had plenty of wet leaves. A few half minds took to the hill and went flying down the on the saucer. After all the thrill seeking was done,we headed out of the woods. We traipsed thru another muddy cornfield back to the On-In.

Serialbater was the RA for the day, since our usual RA had other things to do that day (and should drink for it later). After the circle was done, we had excellent food provided by B.O.B. Thanks BOB!!

After dinner, the Renegade Beer Fest began. We sampled many types of beer and lots of shenanigans were the air that night. I would say we got to see A LOT of the Dayton << DELETED BY FACEBOOK>> that night, and us girls really appreciated that.

The shitty trail was over and the Beer Fest was a success, and all in attendance felt sorry for the other hashers who missed it. You should be ashamed of yourselves.

Godspeed your further trails,
Dangerous Dismount

The Renegade bunch met on January 29, 2016 at Rambling House Soda Pop for what’s called the Growler Crawl, although no one knew that beforehand. We were told to bring our hipster finest for the band (lol), and although most of the crew ignored instructions (as usual), we were not disappointed by the show on stage. Indeed, there was not a finer collection of knitted caps in the 614. But the cute toddler dancing about made up for the singing. Kinda.

But enough about that. This is about the trail. Gentle reader, I feel it’s time for a confession. Your hash trash today isn’t via the usual Double D, since she couldn’t be bothered to attend. So, the only thing shittier than your author’s writing ability is the trail chosen by the hares, Immaculate Projection and I Like It Small.

So there we were, outside Portlandia East, headed east, over to Indianola Ave. The trail turned north for several intersections, at many of which was a check where Itchy Bitsy found the false each time. Eventually the trail led down steps to the Glen Echo Ravine, where no one has ever lost their virginity, ever. There we found a tasty growler, some vessels, and some orange food. It was at this stop our virgin hare, I Like It Small, invited us to stick our hands in her box (of fries).

After Working Member couldn’t break the ice we headed out, back up the steps, and down the road to Weber Rd. where we found a check for the ages near a park. Apparently up means up, as NFHN Rocky scaled a tree looking for clues! It was also where Working Member earned his trail treasure – a handheld game that actually worked!

After a bullshit arrow that looked like an F, trail was found along a fence leading down to Walhalla Rd. Nifty place for a trail. The hares found a nice bridge over the creek for hiding the next BN, where there was another growler. This was the stop where you’d think we were smoking pot…NFHN Rocky learned about Alice in Wonderland, I Like It Small tasted sugar wafers, and we all stared at the stars.

After that there was a minor issue on the trail regarding which side of the street the trail was on, but NFHN Rocky saved the day, so we found our way to the on-in, with old-ass beer and cards against humanity awaiting.

At the on-in, Cockpit and Meats In The Parking Lot showed up for the festivities and played cards with us. Fun and drinks were had. Until next time, you’re all wankers 🙂 and I remain,

Yours Truly,
Itchy Bitsy