I wanna go hash with Ohio wanks
In old Columbus town,
To drink the beer they have on hand,
By far the finest in the land,
I wanna go hash with Ohio wanks
In old Columbus town,
I wanna go hash,
I gotta go hash,
In Ohio
You wankers, you wankers
The shiggy makes us cry
We’re here to drink or die
You wankers, you wankers
We’ll find the trail come hell or water high!
And when we catch the hare, we’ll buy a keg of booze!
And they’ll drink for all the shiggy,
‘Til they wobble in their shoes!
You wankers, you wankers
We’ll find the trail come hell or water high!
Head? Who Said Head? (Used whenever the word “head” is uttered, a true Renegade favorite)
Head? Who said head?
I’ll take some of that
And I did, and it was good
And there was much rejoicing!
And then we fucked. We fucked for hours
Uprooting trees and shrubs and flowers
We fucked like Vikings
With horns on our head…
Head? Who said head?
I’ll take some of that
…
And then she fingered my asshole
It wasn’t fun, it wasn’t funny, it was dangerous!
So I took my dog, my football, and my TV and I went home
So fuck you, you fucking fucks!
Chicago
CHORUS:
I used to work in Chicago, in a department store.
I used to work in Chicago, I don’t work there anymore.
A woman came in for a computer (a computer from the store)
A computer she wanted; my Wang she got, I don’t work there anymore.
A man came in for a telephone (a telephone from the store)
A.T.T. he wanted; T.I.T. he got (visual aids help), I don’t work there anymore
A woman came in for a:
doughnut – glazed she wanted. cream filled she got
elevator – my shaft
carpet – laid
spring – BOINGed
screwdriver – screwed
hammer – nailed
T-bone – tube steak
carpet – pile
berber – shag
gun – banged
nylons – hose
floppy disk – my hard drive
metaphysical conversation – fucked
velvet – felt
liquor – lick her I did
bolts – my nuts
sailors – semen
ham – porked
plastic – rubbers
plumbing – my pipe
pipe – hose
stockings – hose
liquid plumber – pipes cleaned
canned ham – porked
gift wrapping – packed
butter – spread
seafood/lobster – crabs
fabric – felt
balloon – blown
doughnut – my hole
lollipop – sucked
horse – ridden
berber – shag
wheels – rimmed
beer – Busch