Categories
Songs

Chicago

I used to work in Chicago, in a department store.
I used to work in Chicago, I don’t work there anymore.

A woman came in for a computer (a computer from the store)
A computer she wanted; ram she got, I don’t work there anymore.

A woman came in for some coffee (some coffee from the store)
Some coffee she wanted; flick of the bean she got, I don’t work there anymore

A woman came in for a:
doughnut – glazed she wanted. cream filled she got
elevator – my shaft
carpet – laid
spring – BOINGed
screwdriver – screwed
hammer – nailed
T-bone – tube steak
carpet – pile
berber – shag
gun – banged
nylons – hose
floppy disk – my hard drive
metaphysical conversation – fucked
a fucking – metaphysical conversation
velvet – felt
liquor – lick her I did
bolts – my nuts
sailors – semen
ham – porked
plastic – rubbers
plumbing – my pipe
pipe – hose
stockings – hose
liquid plumber – pipes cleaned
canned ham – porked
gift wrapping – packed
butter – spread
seafood/lobster – crabs
fabric – felt
balloon – blown
doughnut – my hole
lollipop – sucked
horse – ridden
flag – my pole
wheels – rimmed
beer – Busch
beer – a six pack she wanted, ate she got
puppy – my pussy
bowling ball – picked up, fingered and thrown in the gutter she got
a hard drive – his floppy

Categories
Songs

Head? Who Said Head?

Used whenever the word “head” is uttered, a true Renegade favorite

Head? Who said head?
I’ll take some of that
And I did, and it was good
And there was much rejoicing!
And then we fucked. We fucked for hours
Uprooting trees and shrubs and flowers
We fucked like Vikings
With horns on our head…

Head? Who said head?
I’ll take some of that

And then she fingered my asshole *shudder*
It wasn’t fun, it wasn’t funny, it was dangerous!
So I took my dog, my football, and my TV and I went home
So fuck you, you fucking fucks!

Categories
Songs

The S&M Man

CHORUS:
It’s the S&M man,
The S&M man,
The S&M man because he mixes it with love,
And makes the hurt feel good.
The hurt feel good.

Who will run through shiggy, (Who will run through shiggy)
Ripping up his flesh, (Ripping up his flesh)
And turn right around,
And repeat the bloody mess?
CHORUS…

Who can take a hammer,
Shove it up her twat,
Move it back and forth,
Til he finds her G-spot?

Who can take a hammer,
Wave it overhead,
And slam it on his pecker,
Til he wishes he were dead?

Who can take his bicycle,
Take away the seat,
Put his girlfriend on it,
Ride her down a bumpy street?

Who can take some sandpaper,
Gotta be 50 grit,
Rub it back and forth,
Til she has a bleeding clit?

Who can take a old wood saw,
Rusty, but still cuts,
Saw it back and forth,
Til he cuts off both his nuts?

Who can take his willy,
Slam it in a door,
Slam it back and forth,
Til he can’t pee anymore?

Who can take a chainsaw,
Rev it up on high,
Shove it up her arse,
Just to hear her scream and sigh?

Who can take a razor,
And no shaving cream,
Scrape her pussy bald,
While he listens to her scream?

Who can take a sander,
Make sure it’s Black and Decker,
Rub it up and down,
Until you’ve got a bleeding pecker?

Who can take a mallet,
Claim that he’s a stud,
Smash it on his pecker,
Till it starts to ooze some blood?

Who can take a young girl,
Turn the lights down low,
Flip on the video camera,
And make like he’s Rob Lowe?

Who would use machinery,
To masturbate at work,
Rip off his left testis,
And pretend it didn’t hurt?

Who can take some fiberglass,
Wrap it round his pud,
Shove it up her arse,
Til she’s shitting chunks of blood?

Who can take a light bulb,
Shove it up her arse,
Fuck her up the rear,
Til she’s shitting chunks of glass?

Who can take just two bricks,
Take one in each hand,
Bang them on his balls,
Like the cymbals in the band?

Who wears pants with zippers,
And no underwear,
Then pulls them up and down,
And rips out his pubic hair?

Who can take a bottle,
Shove it up your ass,
And hit it with a hammer,
And line your ass with glass?

Who can take your scrotum,
Stick it with a pin,
Hang on a bunch of weights,
Till it drags down to your shins?

Who can take a chainsaw,
Cut the bitch in two,
Fuck the bottom half,
And toss the other half to you?

Who can take your penis,
Feed it to a whore,
Then slam it in a door,
So you can’t fuck no more?

Who would take a condom,
Put pepper in the ring,
Use it on the wife,
‘Cause she twitches when it stings?

Who can take your penis,
Tie it in a knot,
Tighter ever tighter,
Until the fucker rots?

Who can take two ice picks,
Stick one in each ear,
And ride her like a Harley,
While he fucks her up the rear?

Who takes jumper cables,
Clamps one on each tit,
Starts up the car,
And electrocutes the bitch?

Who would take your kiddies,
Out to a picnic binge,
Put them on the fire,
And watch the fuckers singe?

Who would put a kid’s hand,
In a socket on the wall,
It’s nice when they jerk,
Up against his balls?

Who gives children candy,
Takes them round the block,
And rips up their innards,
With the ramming of his cock?

Who can take a chainsaw,
Stick it up her hole,
Turn it round & round,
And make tuna casserole?

Who can take some clothes pegs,
Hang his girlfriend by her nipples,
Leave the bitch just hanging,
Til her tits are nearly tripled?

Who can take a Doberman,
Let him do a show,
Let him fuck your girlfriend,
While he takes a video?

Who can take a hair curler,
Turn it up on high,
Stick it in her cunt,
And listed to her fry?

Who can take his penis,
Put it in a door,
Slam it real hard,
And scream MORE MORE MORE?

Who can find some newlyweds,
Sneak into their room,
Fuck the bride in bed,
And sodomize the groom?

Who can take a glass rod,
Shove it up his prick,
Put it on the table,
And smash it with a brick?

Who can take a baby,
Throw it on a pile,
And fuck it up its ass,
Shish-ka-bob style?

Who can take a nun,
Lean her over the pew,
Fuck her up the ass,
‘Till she wishes she was a Jew?

Who can take a vagina,
Suck out all the yeast,
Spit it out into some dough,
And serve bread at the hash feast?

Who can take a puppy,
Hold it by the ears,
Fuck it in the ass,
Until it sheds those puppy tears?

Who can take a vice clamp,
Clamp it on a tit,
Squeeze the sucker down,
‘Till it pops just like a zit?

Who can take a transient,
Rip out one of his eyes,
Skull fuck the bastard,
While he listens to his cries?

Who can take a Coke bottle,
Shove it up her ass,
Kidney punch the bitch,
Until she’s shitting blood and glass?

Who can take a cheese grater,
Strap it to his arm,
Fist fuck the bitch,
And make vagina parmesan?

Who can take a Catholic priest,
Bend him over the pew,
Fuck him in the ass,
‘Till he swears that he’s a Jew?

Who cuts off your gonads,
Boils ‘em in a stew,
Later that evening,
He’ll feed ‘em back to you?

Who can take a baby,
Lay it on a bed,
Turn the bugger over,
Fuck the soft spot in its head?

Who can take a pregnant woman,
Fuck her til she’s dead,
Leave his dick inside her,
Til the fetus gives him head?

Who can go to the abortion clinic,
Sneak around the back,
Dig through the dumpster,
Until he finds a tasty snack?

Who can go to another abortion clinic,
Go through the front door,
Stalk into the waiting room,
And suck a live one out a whore?

Who can take a little girl,
Before she’s on the rag,
Fuck her till she’s dead,
And then toss her in a bag?

Who can take a sawfish,
Ram it up yer bum,
Run it back and forth,
To make some rectal chum?