Hash Trash

03/13/16 #033.69 Deep Swallows’ Surprise

So there we were, minding our own business on a peaceful Saturday night, when Deep Swallows got shitfaced in DAYTON and decided he wanted to hare a trail in Columbus the next fucking day. Sure, why not? How bad can it be?

Dear friends, please allow me to quote from our website:

    WHO: Renegade Hash House Harriers Columbus
    WHAT: Trail #033.69
    WHEN: March 13, 2016
    HARES: Deep Swallows
    MUSTER: 3pm
    WHERE: Lovell’s Tavern, 4265 Alum Creek Drive, Columbus OH 43207
    TRAIL: A to A
    HASH CASH: $5
    BRING: you will swim
    POISON SHIGGY: minimal
    WATER SHIGGY: You will drown….hope you can swim

When the Lord passes judgment on us all, He will know only the first four lines of that ended up being true, and may His divine providence be enough to spare Deep Swallows. We actually ended up in the parking lot of a laundromat/weight room/tax service center where trunk beer was had, because some people don’t bother checking whether the on start is OPEN ON SUNDAY.

Trail led south, then a bit east into a park/archery range. Of course, no one was paying attention, so trail was lost a few times. Give it up for the walkers…follow marks, not people, you fools! Speaking of the archery range, our beer near was on a ridge nearby where some trail treasure in the form of misguided arrows were found. Thanks for trying to get us killed, Mr. Hare.

From there trail wound around a lake, amusing the many anglers along the way, up to railroad tracks (of course) and back to a neighborhood where trail was lost yet again because after a few beers ON-ON and ON-ONE sound the same. Some wandering about ensued, where some folks ended up in back yards of perplexed neighbors, and others wandered to within feet of short cutting trail without knowing. Eventually the ship righted itself and we were heading through a neighborhood to the on-in, petting stray cats along the way.

Circle was held in the backyard of an abandoned house, because of course it was. Songs were sung, down-downs were had, all was right with the world. Shitty trail, Deep Swallows…come back and do it again sometime!