Hash Trash

08/13/16 #048 – Insane Inflatable 5k

We were raceists for a morning.

Can you see the sexy sweat stains?
Can you see the sexy sweat stains?

May God offer His providence to us all.

Hash Trash

07/31/16 #047 – Lick Her Aguan’s Sayonara Trail

What is the difference between heat exhaustion and heat stroke?

There is no set line that distinguishes heat exhaustion from heat stroke. If a person is suffering from a heat-related illness such as heat exhaustion, and changes in mental status occur, he or she should be considered to be suffering from heat stroke. This includes, confusion, lethargy, seizure, or coma. This is a medical emergency, and if treatment is delayed mortality can be greater than 50%. While victims of heat exhaustion sweat profusely, people suffering from heat stroke stop sweating and have dry skin. This is a warning sign of impending heat stroke.

So let’s just roll with that. LICK HER AGUAN was suffering from a heat related malady as he drug HORNY AGAIN along for this bullshit. At least he stuck around for circle after this one. When that’s about the only positive thing that comes from a trail, you done fucked up, son.

On a nice 90° and sunny summer day we gathered for a going away party for LICK HER AGUAN and gave him another chance to finally lay a good trail. What’s that they say? Fool me once, etc?

So there we were, gathered in a nice comfy bar waiting for our hares to show up, and sure enough they popped in right before we decided to say “fuck it, let’s drink” for the afternoon. Assholes. They shuttled talked us into carpooling to the on-start. Upon arrival we had more drinks and chalk talk, where trail was described as having “sparse” marks. Sure, no problem, we’ve all been on a Serialbater trail.

On-on…we thought. A check right away sent hashers off in every direction. To the north was an evil back check. Everywhere else…crickets. So we spent a generous amount of non-beer time looking in vain for marks that didn’t exist. Finally, someone called the asshole hare, who pointed us in the right direction…a chalk mark a half mile down the road. Since others saw the hares driving past, allegations of auto-haring were tossed about but obviously were denied.

Have I mentioned yet we had dogs and children on this trail? I feel like I’ve left that part out. So yes, on this 90° day with no clear path to refreshment, I feel like I should mention we had dogs and children on trail.

Eventually we found the hares…with a car…in a school parking lot, where an impromptu beer near was had. To listen to the hares, one would have thought we were crying man-children. All I’m saying is when a hasher sacrifices his vessel to provide water to a dog (a hare’s dog, no less!) you might rethink your trail.

After the unplanned BN the hares graciously cut the trail short by winding us through a neighborhood, where a television was almost recycled, and eventually making children run across a divided highway. Because this was always a family friendly trail, you see.

Somehow we all avoided the heat related illnesses that beset our hares and made it to the on-in, where we were bussed (by ourselves) to the on-start for circle. There we rightfully told our hares to take a hint and fuck right off…although they’re welcome back any time. Just stop haring fucking trails you idiots.


09/11/16 #052 – The Bubbles Are Burning Again!

Who: Renegade Hash House Harriers Columbus, Ohio

What: Renegade Trail #52.
Hash Cash- 10 dollars. This is a fundraising trail for the Yellow Ribbon Fund. Walk, crawl, or dash through trail to help soldiers in need. All proceeds will be donated and more information available here.

Where: On Start is at the home of TLQ 6210 Harrisburg Georgesville Rd., Grove City, OH.

Details: Burning Bubbles and Lady Humps A Lot are laying LIVE trail! Expect extreme shiggy! Bring a chair, dry bag, ivy block, sunblock, vasoline, bug spray and your pre-lube beer. We will provide trail and circle beer and munchies post run. Special thanks to Meats and Cockpit for beer donations!


09/02/16 Flight #31 – Ohio Beer Freedom Day!

Come help us celebrate the removal of Ohio’s dumbass ABV limit in the only way we know how…by drinking beer!

Who: Renegade Hash House Harriers and friends
What: Renegade Brewery Tour Flight #31
Where: Pigskin Brewing, 81 Mill St., Gahanna OH 43230
​Passport: If you don’t have one we will give you a fresh and clean virginal Columbus Ale Trail Brew Book!
​Hare: If there’s a trail
Trail: see above
Muster: 6pm
Hash Cash: if there’s a trail
Why: We are “a drinking club with a running problem”


Renegade’s Birthday Weekend

Who: Renegade Hash House Harriers Columbus
What: 3 Way Anal Birthday Hash Olympics Marathon
When: 3 days. 3 events. 3 ways to share in debauchery and rebellion

Cockpit and Meats initiate the opening ceremony with a TRAIL
Muster: 730pm
On-out: 830pm
Where: 19 Westwood Road Columbus Ohio 43214
Details: Trail will be short with minimal shiggy.
Bring: 7 dollars for hash cash, a vessel, chair, body paint and glow sticks.
Gispert only knows what these two have planned but be prepared for the rebellion rising.

Serialbater and Immaculate Projection!
On-start: The Black Hat, 2643 Federated Boulevard, Columbus, Ohio 43235
Trail: This is an Erie style pub crawl so put on your running shoes and be prepared to dash between bar stops along the way.
Muster: 6pm and we will rock the evening and your check liver light. Overnight accommodations are available for anyone coming from out of town or too drunk to remember where they live.

What there’s more? Hash Olympics, camping and full rebellion
Muster: 3pm at 21306 River Road Circleville Ohio 43113
23 acres of pines and wicked fun
What to bring: $10 hash cash, a floaty and swimming things for hanging out in the pond, chair, cooler and your camping gear!
Pitch a tent and plan on spending the night..
Hash Games starting at 4pm. Slip and flip, beer paddle boat dash, drunken raft race, beer mile and more..
We will provide dinner, laughs, good times and beer for Hash Olympics.. Prizes for the gold, silver and bronze finishers..
No worries if the weather says rain… We have shelter in the barn 😉
4 legged friends: yes
Family friendly: no


08/17/16 – Flight #30

Who: Renegade Hash House Harriers and friends
What: Renegade Brewery Tour Flight #30

  • Knotty Pine Brewing
    1765 W. 3rd Ave., Columbus OH 43212
  • Four String Brewing
    985 W. 6th Ave., Columbus OH 43212
  • Zauber Brewing
    909 W. 5th Ave., Columbus OH 43212
  • ​Passport: If you don’t have one we will give you a fresh and clean virginal Columbus Ale Trail Brew Book!
    ​Hare: If there’s a trail
    Trail: see above
    Muster: 6pm
    Hash Cash: if there’s a trail
    Why: We are “a drinking club with a running problem”

    Knotty Pine:

    Four String: