Hash Trash

09/11/16 – Trail #052

You know, it’s not often we are serious here at Renegade H3, but on this 15th anniversary of the attacks of 9/11, it’s important to take a moment to reflect on the fact our hares still can’t lay a god damn trail. May Almighty God continue to have mercy on their souls.

Despite our protests, we gathered at TEEN LA QUEEFA’s place for a jaunt through the woods. The hares (BURNING BUBBLES and LADY HUMPS A LOT) swear they laid trail live, but who can really be sure with this bunch. It’s not like we win any marathons around here, and the sun was pleasant that day. But to give them the benefit, we struggled with another beer(s) while giving them the customary lead time.

Trail went through a field…for the dummies. Smart folks skirted around the edge of the start, like it was going to help. As we entered the woods and started to follow the creek we were sure we were getting wet, but nooooooo. Away from the water was a beer near! After a rousing round of Chicago and several beers, we were on our way.

Along the way to our water crossing, we had the usual NICE TRY fall. It was graceful…almost like it was scripted. But yes, eventually there was water, where we met bemused kayakers. Just treat us as local fauna, gentle citizen. We are the wildlife you saw. It makes everyone’s story better.

On the other side of the creek we found another beer near, this time with an unmarked swing check. And this wasn’t your usual playground swing. It was a tree swing over a creek…cmon hares… Anyway, we found the beer and FIDO decided to try out the swing, to hilarious results. We encountered local fishermen that had found the beer near before us and had acted like proper gentlemen in leaving it for us. They declined our offer of a token beer, as did the other kayakers we met…some of whom were having a bad day navigating the water. We offered beer, and they said they already had some. Now, I don’t know about you, but even if my vessel is full, I will invite my fellow traveler to drink. Damn kids these days.

At this point, alcohol may or may not have had a say in matters as people ignored sanity and followed ITCHY BITSY back down into the creek. The back 2/3 of the pack got lost and wandered through the woods, cursing no one and anyone in general, up and down out of the water. It was funny to be walking upstream like a boss as families were on a leisurely drift down the creek, however.

Eventually we found a field that led to the on-in. ILLUMINUTTI decided to clear out the bees for us by attaching them to himself and carrying them away with haste. Circle was had, STEAMER and BROWN AND RUNNY showed up, beer was drunk, and also beer was drunk.

Debating the fate of the hares
Debating the fate of the hares

But seriously, this trail was for a good cause. We were able to raise $150 for the Yellow Ribbon Fund. Many thanks to our hares for helping us donate to this important cause, and special thanks to TEEN LA QUEEFA for hosting our drunken asses.