It’s that time of year… when we all gather in a far-off land south of Columbus for trail, pond-swimming drinking, and more drinking, floating and news flash…
NEW THIS YEAR: As an awesome birthday present for Lady, Working Member is building a floating tiki bar. Come help sacrifice an amazingly cheap bottle of shitty champagne and take a float (or drunkenly overload the damn vessel and sink it). AND PLEASE DO NOT KILL MY FISH!
WHO: RENEGADE HASH
WHAT: Trail #131- Lady’s Birthday Shitshow. She survived another trip around the sun and has lots of amazing memories with each of you!
WHERE: Outside the fucking 270 loop, somewhere south of Narnia in the big pine forest. Most of you have been here but if you haven’t and you paid your pre-rego, a hare will message you the address.
HASH CASH: 20 dollars and a 24 pack of beer. Preferably slut beer, because everyone loves a slut. Right? There are no kegs this year because you wanks are bringing the hash beer. Therefore, chose wisely ????.
What do you get for 20 dollars you ask? Drunk, wet, covered in trail goo. Of course, you can tent camp and of course, we will feed you pre-trail munchies, dinner and breakfast the following morning. The rest is up to you.
Deliver your beer the day of the event to a hare. NO DAY OF REGOS WILL BE ACCEPTED AND WE ARE CAPPING THE EVENT! Rego soon, rego early! We need an accurate head (CUE SERIAL BAITER HASHER) count for food!
DOG FRIENDLY: ONLY if your dog is pet and people friendly. Parts of trail may be difficult to navigate for small pets. I don’t shit in your yard, so please don’t let your pup leave trail treasures in mine. Bring bags for clean up and keep your lovely on a leash. We have coyote in the neighborhood and I would not want your pup to be dinner.
KID FRIENDLY: HELL. NO. This is not a rated PG-13 event. There will be adult content, profanity (YOU fucking fucks) and optional nudity (your choice to get naked but expect that it will happen for many people- cue Lady). Take your kids to the circus or skating rink but DO NOT ASK to bring them here.
Your hares Lady Humps A Lot, Working Member, and our guest hare we borrowed from Erie Hash, Cumz Alone, will help you navigate the weekend. Of course, the shitshow starts with prelube promptly at 11am. Bring your camping gear, dry bag, floatation device, cooler full of goodies, and all your overnight essentials. If you don’t know what to bring by now, I failed you as hash mom. Set up your tents, toss your beer donation of 24 beers on ice, and let the shit show begin. Mingle with your friends and prepare for the glorious day. At least that’s how Lady does it right?
Cue chalk talk: 100pm. By now, your Renegade spirit is in full swing and your thinking, hmm, should I never leave camp? Where’s Steamer? What the hell, am I doing trail? Fuck yes, you’re doing trail. Because it will be loaded with goodies for your consumption.
ON-OUT: 130pm. Lady is not 20 anymore and parts of the trail may be live. Give her old ass a head start and we will see you at a beer near.
POST TRAIL DINNER: Food will be ready by 5pm or when it is fucking ready. You won’t starve here. I pinky promise (no crosses count).
CIRCLE: Circle will occur sometime after dinner (or when Immaculate fucking says so!) Don’t argue with her. She got named here. She kills things. Just be careful (LOVE YOU IP!)
MIDNIGHT SHOT TRAIL: If you would like to have shots set up by your tent, feel free to bring goodies to share with all your friends. Clothing optional of course. DUH>>> Just stay out of the neighbor’s yard!
See you wanks in a few short weeks and message me with any questions!
LOVE AND MANY MORE BEERDAYS,