I feel like this one needs a theme song…cue some Starsky & Hutch or something.
Episode 36: In Which Illuminutti Plays Lost And Found
Several themes seem to be developing lately with the ol’ Renegade hash. One of which is a general inability to assess the operating hours of the intended muster/on-in sites. Your author is himself guilty of this…but that was in January, which is practically last year, so who cares, right? Right. At any rate, it’s like a part of trail is finding the beer or something…who knew?
But anyway, this is about the piece of crap tossed around by LICK HER AGUAN. You’d think a guy who has hared half the trails he shows up for would know how to get shit done, but noooooooo. Despite the on-start shifting more than the sands in the Sahara, we were joined by two hashers who had been lurking about town; GOOD VIBRATIONS and LOW MAN ON THE SCROTUM POLE from OTH4 in DC. We welcomed them and proceeded to do our best to scare them off.
We gathered in
Jordan’s Pub Scotch & Soda Jordan’s Pub, where we were all flattered by the bartender ID’ing everyone (well, not ILLUMINUTTI…keep your shit up to date folks), but not so flattered by the service in general. Because of this, we wanted to leave a bar?!? and a hash actually got started on time..or at least the “well, my watch says” on time of the 70s since we’re going with that theme. Our RA actually showed up for this trail, so the sun was shining at the start, but her prior sins would come back to haunt both us and her later.
Trail led kinda south, then kinda east across Morrison Rd. immediately to the first of many picture checks at questionable locations. Thanks for having us document the rental office of an apartment complex, Herr Hare. It was at this point we’d noticed that ILLUMINUTTI was lost, but no matter, we assured our newcomers…he’d be back. Now trail reads like a property deed…hence through said marks to a PC, whereupon twelve paces forthright he shall find a mailbox. Whatever, we took a picture in front of a fucking mailbox.
Thankfully after that the BN was right across the parking lot. As usual SERIALBATER put on his rocket shoes and we all enjoyed a nice beer, even as the snow began to fall hard. Thanks, IMMACULATE PROJECTION. Magically, ILLUMINUTTI appeared out of nowhere to fill up on more beer before disappearing again.
Eventually trail lead to a break in a fence toward a truly back alley bar. Alas, it wasn’t open, so the battle was on…one trunk beer and the FRBs vs. a charging SERIALBATER…well he won while we waited for it to open.
We got in the place and played nice for a few, and while it’s a dive bar, it’s not really hash friendly. But cheers to the owner for buying us all a shot, good on you there. But we decided to move the on-after to DUM BASS’ dead hooker storage emporium. It was there the true hash crimes were committed…the hare had DISAPPEARED!! That’s something like a loophole in hash law…you’ll drink for that…if we remember it later…sneaky fucker.
Anyway, circle was conducted, Immaculate lived up to the Projection, one can only assume the lost parties are still alive. On-on until next week.