Hash Trash

04/16/16 #037 Mother Udder’s Cowtown Founders Analversary

A beautiful day was picked for our #37 Mother Udders Founders Analversary, hared by the original Cowtowner himself, BLACK WATCH. We met at The Rock in Columbus; where we were having so much fun in the bar, that we didn’t start trail for two hours.

After the on-start the long long long, 6 mile trail had begun.
We get to the first check and the group was split on which direction to go. It took us quite some time to find the correct way to go. Once we found our way, we were on our way down the dangerous Cooper Road and then to the beautiful Casto park.

From here we hiked a total of 3 miles to our one and only Beer Near stop. RALPHIE THE FRAT BOY decided to make his trail a little more difficult and pushed a baby jogger. He brought a long a little commander which we called Frat boy. The boy was a trooper, we were all treated to his stories on how many trails he has been on since he was only 4-1/2 years old. I think he complained the least on the trail.

After the one and only BN stop, we found ourselves at a long False which was a trash pit in the middle of a field, which was still smoldering from being on fire (probably from the night before). Once again, we had a difficult time finding the proper way to go as we kept finding only double false starts! Some hashers did not know there was a bike trail like the one we were on, so at least they learned something new. We finally found the right way to go and away we went.

We eventually found ourselves on an abandon railroad track that was heavily wooded, looking for the next BN stop. After a 6 mile trail (if you didn’t do all the false starts. And if you did, the Fitbit numbers were in the double digits), extreme thirst was had by all because the Hare didn’t keep up with the tradition of multiple BN Stops. I had started to think this was an AA (Alcoholics Anonymous) version of a hash trail. We were assured that this wasn’t an AA hash trail, and there was indeed beer at the end…..if we didn’t die of thirst before we got there.

Finally, the On-in was found and dehydration was a thing of the past! No one needed medical help for dehydration, but LADY HUMPS A LOT was at the ready, if need be. We were all treated to a delicious potluck dinner and thanks go out to everyone who brought food. Special thanks to MOON OVER MY TRUCKIE for opening her house to these half-minds so soon after moving!

The circle was conducted by WORKING MEMBER, as our RA was sunbathing at a nude beach and couldn’t be bothered with us. While conducting circle, he was sweetening the air with his multiple flatulations. The weather was so nice, that 4 hashers were spring cleaning and airing out their private parts. As the temperature dropped, the air turned chilly. What better way to warm people up than a fire pit. The Fire building was done cave style with a log that could have heated up SERIALBATER’S cabeza! A new Renegade song was sung to the tune of an OSU drinking song, and for old time’s sake the old Cowtown song was sung as well. It was an endless circle with lots of funny stories.